Polar Bear thoughts.  WOW!  Where to begin.  Our absence is not the result of lying around waiting to get better.  As hard as we try to deal with cancer, life just keeps getting in the way.  Since Glenna’s very successful surgery the salon is busier than ever, we took a road trip to Sun City Arizona to celebrate sister Sherry’s birthday, every inch of the house is decorated with Christmas inside and out, all the shopping is done, presents wrapped, we welcomed Michael Crossland in from Australia, partied with our bible study group, and Glenna did a video taped interview for the Joyful Foundation and was interviewed by the Orange County Register for a future article and that is just the highlights!

It is hard to imagine how much has happened in 2011 but there is no doubt it is all behind us and we are not looking back.  Sometimes you just need to ignore the rearview mirror.  Not that there is a mirror to look at when you are on the cancer train.  Every ounce of your being is dedicated to getting off at the first station and never coming back for another trip on this rail line.  It sucks.

We also completed our annual calender with a record 147 photos including the front cover with a 35 photo collage dedicated to Glenna’s mom.  We also produced our 4th Christmas CD with 17 standards by such artists as Perry Como, Frank Sinatra, Doris Day, and Bing Crosby.  We called it our comfort food CD.

Glenna was inspired to find Joy in all she experiences this Christmas Season.  To date it is a commitment she is keeping.  Below are the photos, the Joyful Foundation Video and a video clip of Glenna and Cora singing a Christmas Carol.  enJOY!

Merry Christmas from Glenna and the Polar Bear.

Joyful Foundation Video

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=329525400409016

Wow, where do I begin. I am looking back to the last time we really actually updated the blog. Our last real update was in October before our Breast Cancer Awareness Cut-a-thon. Our first fundraiser at the salon. We raised over $3000.00 for FORCE. A foundation that helps woman in bringing awareness and helping women who have the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genetic mutated gene. We were honored to have Debbie Herrera there who runs the Orange County Force Foundation. It was also my first day to really expose my “barely there hair”. We had fun taking pictures back in the massage room. My sweet Lizzy helpped out with the camera action. There were so many people working, volunteering their time. Sharon, Tina, Tracie, Connie, and Ashley who all worked to get auction items, and haircutting and raffle items. We also had  Helen who helped with cutting hair, and her husband George. Shirley from Newport Beach Who I worked with 20 years ago, also cutting hair. Gayle who applied Make-up for fun, I have known Gayle for over 20 years. She once had a facial room at Integrity Salon in Corona del Mar. My wonderful manicurist  Angela also showed up to paint pink nails for a purpose. David and Sharon ran the desk, and manged all the walk-ins. It was truly an amazing day.

During all this I was finishing up my last week of radiation. The pain of radiation is truly worse than any Chemo treatment. The daily “burn” was horrific. Moving through each day was a real challenge. But having an event to deal with actually kept my mind and my body moving toward positive things.

After my final radiation treatments, a trip to Denver to see Ginny was on the schedule the week-end after my last treatment. Halloween week-end. My first airplane trip, testing my lymphodema and the after affects of accumulative radiation. We had the best halloween and spent some quality time with my sister and her family and alone with each other .

On the 7th of November we had an evening with women who have fought through breast cancer and won the battle. Our second special event at the salon. It was a night of meeting  amazing women, sharing miracles and journeys.

Next, I finally made it to my first evening at Saddleback Church’s support group for women who have fought breast cancer. (A real evening to remember). Sharon met me there. We both enjoyed what we learned and who we learned from. There was a physicist, nutritionalist and massage therapist. A reflexologist, and a few others. Again, another evening of sharing our journey through cancer. The amazing thing about this group though, is they seemed to all, be very healthy before getting the cancer. No over weight, smokers or heavey drinkers. No, this was a group of highly intellegent, non drinking, juicing, well balanced vegans. And this seemed to be their way of life before. The single most comon thing amoung each woman before the cancer was “stress”. The perfect storm of stress. I am sure each level of stress was different for each of us, but it was the common factor. I was the only one in the room with any BRCA gene. One woman sitting next to me had to actually go through brain surgery. Fortunately the tumor was benign. Another woman who was running the group was still in stage 4 and was choosing to go through it with good nutrition instead of Chemo again. She had already gone the Chemo route once. I feel so fortunate to be where I am at with my fight. I am grateful for all the groups I have encountered, and to hear the amazing stories.

During all these wonderful events, there have been stories and events that have shaken my world as well as touched my heart. My freind Judy is still going through a grueling Chemo treatment for her rare bone cancer. She is a strong woman. She will be going into the hospital for her 4th so-called round of Chemo. She is given Chemo 5 days in a row while being monitored. Amazingly, she still has a small amount of hair left, which she refuses to let me shave off. We had a nice visit with her Saturday and brought her some soup.

Since my journey through cancer began, I am reminded every day to slow down. To cherish moments, appreciate, people, and to take the time to share something that has brought me through the hard times. One of the single most important things we are all gifted with but dont use enough of sometimes is laughter. I now more than ever, love to laugh. There are so many times in a day I can choose to be down about my circumsatances. Doctors appointments, painful treatments, future surgeries, and just plain being wornout and tired of the whole thing. But then, I am reminded by a quiet gentle voice that rests deep in my heart. Saying to me, “Be still and know that I am God”. As soon as I get “still” I realize how much God has done to keep me safe from so many other things I don’t care to be a part of in this world, like being around mean people. His spirit keeps me at peace, knowing He is in control and that my life is but a vapor here so make it count. Most of all, He pours out His fabulous gift, Joy. A joy only found in knowing His love and His Son. It’s not a joy the world knows, like going out and buying a pretty pair of shoes and your so happy until you wear them for a day and get your first blister from them. Then you are in pain for the rest of the day and now sorry you bought them. No lasting joy there. I am talking about a joy that permeates your heart when it has been broken, your body when it has had discomfort, and your mind when it has seen and heard stories too horrific to comprehend. Like Gabby Gifford’s story.  These stories are all around.  Thankfully, there is a place to find peace and joy in this broken world because we have a Father who loves us.

PS This Tuesday morning at 6:00am I will be at the hospital getting ready for my 5th surgery of the year.  I will fill in the details tomorrow.  For now, here are some photos from the cut-a-thon.

I know that most readers of our blog must be wondering, what is going on day-to-day. We used to write so much. And we used to have so many comments on our daily blogs. We do appreciate your comments as it does inspire more writing. However, we, My Polar Bear and I have been very busy. Still having to go to what seems to be weekly Doctors appointments along with daily radiation treatments, and still researching reconstructive surgeries for the future, we are occupied with so much. We are also very involved with so many other things that has been part of this ever-growing journey through cancer and all its in-depth, intense, inspiring, and amazing aspects. We are planning, daily, for our first “Cancer Awareness Fundraiser” this next Sunday October 23rd. It has been an amazing journey just watching all of the details unfold.

However, as a I move through this part of our journey, an ordinary day might look like this. I wake up at 5:45 hit the snooze twice because I am now on my 6th week of radiation and this routine. I am pooped. But I finally get up at 6:00. ( I am usually in bed by 8:00 P.M.) I pour the coffee and get ready. I proceed to put prosthesis on and bangs on and beanies. It is a procedure that takes a toll on you mentally. I head down the freeway where I watch the other side of the freeway crawl at a snail’s pace. I get to the radiation office, wait quietly in the waiting room as Parmis, the radiation therapist prepares the machine. When she calls me into the big room with the massive machine I then strip down all that I have just put on that morning to leave the house and I lay on the hard platform. For the 23rd time I lay there shivering from the cold metal and morning coolness, (as much as Parmis warms the place , it is still a bit cool). We usually have small talk, but this morning we are discussing the horrible shooting that took place in Long Beach at a local salon. Nine people gunned down, one survived. Ten people escaped the bloody massacre, but 8 people lost their lives including the salon owner. Twenty years in business, the salon owner was the first to be shot down, his client ran to the bathroom as he tried to talk the gun man from doing his horrible act of vengeance toward his ex-wife and all of the employees of the local , very loved salon. I lay there as this massive machine zaps me, questioning what has this world come to. This can’t be an ordinary day. It seems different, but I keep wondering if the world is getting more crazy,  Then as I leave, I knew I was going to see Rita for the last time at the radiation office. It was her last radiation treatment. I know Rita’s journey and have become very close to her, so I will miss her greatly. I spend a few precious moments with her as I know I won’t get that amazing time with her again. I ask her once again how the rest of the women in her family are doing as the story is grim. Her granddaughter, who is in her 20′s, is living her last days. She has only a few weeks as she has been fighting breast cancer that has spread to her brain and other parts of her body. They found it too late and now just trying to keep her comfortable. Her daughter is also fighting breast cancer as is Rita, Mom and Grandma to the two suffering. Rita’s daughter’s cancer is spreading up her spine. Again at a stage where the fight to live is exhausting. Rita is doing amazing. She is a fighter. This wonderful family has the mutated gene which I am so familiar with now. My heart breaks for Rita. I hug her, hold her and cry with her. Then I head to work where I put on the life that The Lord has given me for the day and thank Him for getting me through the battle of the morning. I am grateful that I am in an amazing place at work. I love the new salon and the people who work there. I am grateful that I am on the mend in so many ways. I am so blessed to know that my family wont be having to go through cancer because of the preventative things that are being done. I am very happy that though the battle has been tough at times, That my ordinary days are full of both tears and pain, as well as joy and laughter. We heard an amazing message this week-end on reaping and sewing. The message really hit home with David and I as we have come to realize past history in a family came to reap many years later. But we all have a chance to sow good not evil. Galatians 6:9. It is not always easy to keep on sowing good seeds. Seeds of help, finances, love, ect. It is hard sometimes, but it is worth it knowing I am affecting the generations to come. John 4:38.  My Mother used to say “Chickens come home to roost”. We will reap what we sow. Sometimes we see bad people sow evil like the evil man who shot all those innocent people. I think God is looking for some good farmers. Seed planters…good seeds not bad seeds…. so that when the harvest comes, the good will reap blessings and joy. Psalm 126:5-6.

Okay let’s get out there and plant some seeds!

For those of you who read the untitled post from Sunday well, here is the rest of the story.  Somehow, the partial not ready to be made public post, and not to be confused with a parcel post, got published. So please, give it one more read, and thank you for being on this journey with us.

If history teaches us anything, it is how much our lives and at times our very existence are determined by how we as individuals, and as communities, define our world.  It is as fundamental as the age old question, is the glass half empty, half full, or as George Carlin would say, the glass is too big.  It is also, on a much larger scale, what creates a world at war, or a world at peace or a world of fear that at any moment we might annihilate each other with the push of a button.

Do we trust or do we doubt.  Do we see there is good in everything because it is all a gift from a loving God, or do we see evil as having the upper hand and we are just victims of a world ruled by darkness.

Yesterday, I fell into doubt and darkness.  It wasn’t a deep hole; it was more like a pot hole.  The tell tale signs are words like unfair, asking questions like why is this happening and concluding what is the point, evil keeps coming out on top…  I hate it when that happens.

Here comes the sun, and I say it’s all right…  It’s a new day dawning.  I am sitting in the Anasa Salon in Temecula.  It is owned by our friends Helen and George.  They are raising money for Child Help, to help with the fight against child abuse.  All of their stylists including Glenna are cutting hair for $10.00 which goes to Child Help.  They are giving up six hours of their Sunday and all the money they raise to help others.  I’m guessing there are close to eighty people in here right now.  It is amazing.  Serve others.  Battle won.

Last week a visiting Pastor from Texas talked about giving.  We need to be a river with our treasures, not a reservoir.  Later, I watched a guy who chose to live for a higher purpose, win $10,000 on the Food Network show Chopped and he immediately gave it all to his fellow competitor so she could see her ill grandmother.  Be a river.  Battle won.

It is now Tuesday.  I had to move from my prime spot at the salon and ran out of battery power.  Finding time to write can be difficult and I am now cruising at a mere 520 knots at an altitude of 38,000ft destination, Chicago

The Pastor who spoke on giving was admittedly one of those people who is chosen to take on special duties, he has a special purpose.   His ministry is not only to teach giving, but to live giving.  He and his wife once gave away everything they owned.  Their house, cars, money, everything.  He then mentioned to God that he believed with that bit of generosity he had finally out given Him.  Five minutes later the phone rang and the gentleman on the other end explained how he was giving the Pastor a jet to be used whenever he needed with all expenses, fuel, storage, maintenance, pilot, paid in full.  Its not that God was trying to out give the Pastor, He just wanted to be sure that someone who understood giving that well, had a means to get around to teach others how to do it.  Know your purpose.  Battle won.

Glenna too, knows her purpose, and takes on special duties.  We all get special duties, orders from God especially for us, but many choose not to accept them.  Some just say no while others don’t even open the envelope.  Glenna usually checks in each morning for updates on the battle plan for the day.  It can and often does change from day to day.  A recent change was her dear friend Judy being diagnosed with bone cancer.  The enemy opened a new front which will require a lot of resources being funneled that way.  It is hard to imagine after everything that has occurred so far this year, that another close friend is dealing with cancer.  It pains us deeply but as we know all too well, war is hell and the enemy never sleeps.  Be a part of the plan. Battle won.

The tough times, the bad days, the trials of life here in a broken world, they don’t build our character, they reveal it. I am blessed and held to a higher standard because I am married to an amazing woman who stands for much and falls for nothing.  Like Jesus himself who asked his Father why have You forsaken me, when he was dying on the cross, Glenna has had a few of those moments. They usually are not related to her situation, but to the pain others are feeling and the frustration that comes when you know what they are facing. That moment for Jesus was a reminder He was truly human.  It also reminds us we are allowed, as humans, to have those moments.  But, if this blog is anything at all, it is a testimate to how few and far between those moments are for Glenna. By trusting and being connected to our Heavenly Father, Glenna has pushed through each and every trial and tribulation put in her path with courage, strength, perseverance, and grace.  Find your strength in Him.  Battle won.

Last night we had dinner with friends and client Marie and her husband Jim.  Marie started her battle with breast cancer back in 2000.  Her story mirrors Glenna’s in many ways and thankfully, she was with us, cancer free.  As we were departing, we were discussing how much darkness we see in the world these days.  Jim noted the following; if you turn on a light in a room full of darkness, the darkness is pushed back by the light.  But try as you might, you cannot put darkness back into a room that is full of light.  The only way the darkness can return is by removing the light.  Be a Light.  Battle won.

That is what these battles are all about.  The darkness wants to snuff out the light because just by being present, the light pushes out the darkness.  Even on her toughest days, Glenna lights up a room.  Visit her salon, come by the house, wherever she goes, she shines the light.  Me, I just try and keep up and on those days when I find myself at the bottom of a pot hole looking up, I crawl back out, find my Angel, and quickly find myself glowing once again.  I think I get a little tan too.  Share the Light.  Battle won.

So why does it matter that Glenna, and those she touches work so hard and battle so tirelessly to keep their light shining?  Why on those days when she looks at herself without hair, without eyelashes and eyebrows, and at the scars of four surgeries does she head out the door rather than head to bed?  Because, it is about the light, not the looks. It matters for this one simple truth; if everyone became a light, there would be no darkness and on that day there will be no more sorrow, there will be no more pain, and every tear will be wiped away….Light up the World….and the war is ended.

This is Post 100.  It seems like a lot and yet there is still so much more to do. There are so many battles still to fight.  I find comfort in the knowledge that each time a battle is won, it is one more light pushing back the darkness.  That is why we must battle on!  We like to think that Glenna’s Cab, a rest stop on her journey through cancer is a place for everyone to stop and rest and find comfort and reassurance in this battle weary world.  Thank you for thoughts, your prayers and for walking with us.  We look forward to Post 200 and like the commercial says, we’ll leave the Light on for you….have hope…..battle won.

John 8:12, Matt 5:14, 15, 16

Well I am blasting through my radiation treatments with the help of  The staff at The Radiation Oncology Group in Anaheim. To the left of me is my Loving caring Radiologist technician Stacy. She is there every morning before 7.30 am. to turn the monstrous machine on, get it warmed up and to do some computer inputs before I come walking in the door at approximately 7.40 for my 7.45 appointment. So far Stacy and I have met 10 times to zap any cancer that might be lurking behind. Stacy is very dedicated to her work. She will be leaving the Anaheim office and going to the Fountain Valley office where I will see her again on my last 5 visits. The type of zapping they need to do at the end can only be done at that office because of the type of machine.

So tomorrow, (I hope I don’t have this wrong) Tammy who is on my right will be my new “zapper”. I am going to miss Stacy greatly as she is my new morning friend. As much as the drive everyday grinds on me and waking up every morning around 5.30, driving in bumper to bumper traffic, I have met some very sweet people. I am learning a great deal about one of the patients that gets treated after  me at 8.15. She and I have a lot to talk about it seems. I will miss everyone there, once it is all over.

Today. I had my follow up appointment with My surgeon who did my hysterectomy. I was a bit nervous going in since he would be informing me of the pathology report. Today was full of good news. The report was all negative, and I am healing very quickly. He was amazed as to the healing part. (BTW thank-you for all those “healing” prayers. I believe they worked.

I went to see my wonderful; friend Judy today. She is doing great and fighting the chemo side affects. She is amazing.

Well, I wish I could write more but my treatments come early and I crawl to bed much earlier than I used to.

Goodnight